To grieve is to be human.
Grief is as old as humankind. It is one of the things that separates man from other animals. It is quite natural to miss someone or something to which we are attached. But, missing and grieving are very different things. Grief is personal. Other than love, it is the most personal emotion we experience.
It is our loss we grieve, not someone else’s loss. If you are not attached to whatever you lose, you are not likely to mourn its loss. You might feel sad or feel sorry for someone else’s loss, but you will not suffer and be stuck in misery the way they are; you did not lose what they lost.
What is grief?
Grief is an emotion. It feels like there is no happiness possible without what you lost. It brings up sadness and can bring thoughts that you wish you had spent more time with the lost one, done more with them, and possibly been more careful or helpful while they were alive. Grief may even include thoughts and feelings that you cannot survive without the one you lost. Grief can bring up other emotions, like despondency, despair, desolation, wretchedness, glumness, and gloom.
How long does grief last?
In the “grieving business,” those who help others deal with their grief, it is well known that “time heals all wounds,” that if enough time passes, you are likely to “get over” your misery and get on with your life. They know that if they keep listening to your upsets and suggesting you find new friends or try adding different activities into your life, your grief will gradually lessen, and you will get on with your life. The question is not, “will you get over your grief?” but rather, “when will you get over your grief?” Surprisingly, that is now entirely up to you. I’ll explain that later.
If you are old enough, you may remember the passing of your parents. It may have been terrible when it happened, and if you think back, you may well still feel that you miss them and wish they were here, but you are no longer miserable and distraught; you are sad over their loss and what you missed out on without their company. You may be sad that they could not or did not share important events in your life. My point is that we never completely get over the losses in our lives; we get used to them with time. We have found a way to get over any loss, even if it occurred 20-30 or more years ago. Let me explain.
The emotion of grief.
I have already pointed out that grief is an emotion. Emotions are reactions we have inside ourselves. Emotions are tricky things; they cannot be scientifically measured or quantified. According to the most current psychological theory, emotions are judgments about how the current situation meets your goals. Happiness is the evaluation that your goals (what you want) are being satisfied, sadness is the evaluation that your dreams have not or are not going to happen, and anger is a judgment aimed at whatever is in the way of getting what you want. That all sounds quite logical and reasonable, but that is not really what happens in life. Humans are emotional creatures; we form our judgments about life out of our feelings. When you lost your loved one, did you think about what happened, or did you have a gut-wrenching emotional experience? Were you stunned, unable to think, and caught up in your emotions?
Most people do not think about the consequences of their loss when it happens; they react emotionally. Later the emotions may bring up thoughts about how your life has changed and be different, less happy, lonelier, and perhaps less comfortable, but the first reaction is like being kicked in the gut. Grief starts with feelings, and it is the feelings that drive your thoughts, not your thoughts that create your feelings. That’s how humans work. We are feeling creatures, and out of our emotions, our thoughts arise or are triggered.
What happens when you change your emotions?
If you change your feelings, your thoughts will naturally adjust to match them. That is what happens over time. Across time we gradually get used to our loss. We don’t completely get over it, but we slowly get accustomed to the loss results. With time we form new interpersonal connections, develop new habits, and engage in new activities. Most of this happens out of necessity, and as it does, our emptiness lessens, and we more or less “get over” our loss.
I now come back to my opening question: Do you want to stop grieving, or do you want to share it, to cry on an empathetic shoulder? Your answer to this question will determine whether you will want to take advantage of what is on this site. Matching questions are, “How long do you want to grieve” and “How long do you think you should grieve?”.
What the experts advise?
If you follow grief experts or theologians’ advice, you will try to find comfort in talking to someone, sharing your pain and suffering. Across time this will help, but as the grief experts also point out, it may take years and is rarely totally successful. The feelings of grief are powerful and persistent. Unless you can rid your mind of these feelings, they will impact you for the rest of your life.
What do we offer?
This site offers an alternative to the traditional methods of dealing with grief. It provides a way of easing the feelings of loss, sadness, and misery in a few hours. For some, it only takes an hour to get rid of the crippling loss they are currently experiencing. Using the technique several times, focusing on previous losses can completely free you from all of your grief and losses. Listen and read the testimonials from other users. They describe their experience better than I can.
So, what is involved in the technique offered on this site? Listening to a specially crafted narrative leads you to think about and feel the feelings that are part of your grief. The narration makes you look into the dark corners of your mind where the grief lives. You must be in touch with your feelings to let go of them. While you listen to the narration, tonal resonances play. These tones energetically unlock your emotions, and your feelings dissolve. The tones effectively clean out the cobwebs of grief. The feelings go away. It is as simple as that. Again, I urge you to view and listen to our testimonials. The people who provided them are just like you.
If you want to end your grief, you can do it today.